Wednesday, August 22, 2018

WED TIP: HOW YOU PRAY MATTERS

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If you feel intrigued by the question of how to pray, take a few minutes to see my message below:

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

TUES TIP: 10 REASONS EX-GAY MEN CAN DO VERY WELL WITH WOMEN

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Women are politely asked not to read this post.

Quite often I hear from straight guys who complain that they have trouble dating but nobody wants to help them. And then I add to their problems by having to say, "Would it help if I just pretended you were ex-gay and then advise you the way I advise guys on English Manif?"

The thing is, while you may think ex-gay men have zero chances of getting with a woman, I know a large number of ex-gay men who do well with women. The common denominator among these success stories is that they tend to have decided firmly they wanted out of the gay life, they worked on building themselves up, they dated with confidence, they approached heterosexuality as a chance to do things right (and not be promiscuous or messy), and they didn't waste time. Guys who have tried homosexuality and found it wasn't for them tend to fail unless they really want to go straight. If they decide what they want is to go straight, find a wife, and live out a normal life, they tend to end up married with children within several years. That's actually a lot faster than many straight men who flounder for as long as twenty years not making any headway in their search for a woman to marry.

I have gone back and forth with people I know posing the question: "why do ex-gay men do surprisingly well when they decide they are going to look for a wife?" Here is what I have heard and come up with:

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

WED. TIP: LABELS! LABELS! LABELS!

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Until you get rid of sexual labels, you will forever be trapped in Gayland. Take a listen:

Friday, August 10, 2018

FRIDAY TIP: PATIENCE, HUMILITY, PERSEVERANCE

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"It can't be done! It can't be done!" We hear again. The refrain can chill and discourage you. So often people tell us they tried changing their sexual orientation and "nothing worked." When people say this, it is usually the first step toward giving up, adopting the heretical view that they were born that way, and concluding that God makes people gay and homosexuality is acceptable to God.

People who share this debilitating message fail to take responsibility for their own shortcomings. The Bible is full of messages about patience and the need to stay on course all the way to the end. If you have tried for ten years to change and you have not changed, you must not give up hope. As I discuss in the video below, the three Bible chapters I ended up reading today all focus on the importance of humility, patience, and perseverance. These messages must lead you powerfully on this journey.

It is never too late to get out of homosexuality. But you can never know how long God has planned for you to strive and hope, before He intends for you to arrive at heterosexuality and be free of the struggle. Faith, hope, and love go together according to Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. Sometimes we forget about hope. It is something that goes hand in hand with patience, humility, and perseverance.

Thursday, August 9, 2018

THURS TIP: STAY OUT OF THE DEBATE ON CONVERSION THERAPY UNLESS YOU ARE CALLED FOR PUBLIC WITNESS

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It is a midterm election year--and whenever we find ourselves at such a juncture, an emotionally explosive and highly manipulated, propaganda-laden wave of gay controversy washes up on our shores.

This year all signs point to a big fall surprise by the gay lobby dealing with conversion therapy, sexual orientation change, people becoming suicidal when they try to leave the gay community, and Christian churches harming gays by telling them they can change.

If you are reading English Manif I do not need to tell you that all this brouhaha is in bad faith. If someone is stuck in homosexuality, the number one way to make them suicidal is to tell them they have no chance of leaving the scene and they are trapped in it forever. Gay activists never acknowledge that they form an unsupportive community in which people become increasingly miserable, and by contrast, escaping the gay community is a major improvement in people's lives.

There is no positive outcome for you if you jump into these debates in the middle of a loaded election cycle. Go to your happy place, focus on your journey, and tune it all out.

More in the video below:


Tuesday, August 7, 2018

TUES TIP: GAINING CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS TO STOP GAY URGES FROM INTERFERING WITH YOUR JOURNEY

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Women are politely asked not to read this post. 

One of the main reasons that so many men claim they cannot go from gay to straight has to do with non-physical issues: thoughts, urges, attractions, inclinations, etc.

While many men who want to make this change do not find physical behaviors difficult to change, they find it is much harder to change their thoughts and emotions in order to get away from their old gay identities. They still feel gay because no matter what they do, they still feel attractions to other men and sense homosexual impulses.

I am devoting this post to ten basic methods of getting rid of your gay interior life--thoughts, impulses, attractions. It is hard to gain discipline over this part of yourself, but you can gain some mastery over your interior life. Much of the ten tips below consist of staying busy, occupying your time, and fulfilling basic urges that you once fulfilled homosexually through other means. Let me go over ten ways to go straight in your mind, soul, and heart.

Monday, August 6, 2018

MONDAY: QUICK POSTCARD FROM PHASE 5--ONE DAY YOUR GAY LIFE WILL FEEL LIKE A LOST DISTANT MEMORY

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Politics and work have kept me preoccupied a while and I have not been blogging as much with the guys on the "journey" in mind. So I thought I would take out some time to send you a note of encouragement.

I am in that fifth and last phase, the longest phase--the time frame when you are well out of homosexuality, well invested in your life with a woman, married, and busy. I know for a lot of you, depending on where you are in the journey, you may feel like the debate about homosexuality is all-consuming. It may seem like a lost pipe dream that you will ever get out of it.

I can't promise you how or when you can get out of homosexuality. But I can tell you that if you do, and you get married and stay busy with your wife, kids, and daily Bible reading, all of this fixation with homosexuality will one day fade and be a weird memory. Sometimes when I think on my gay past it feels like I am watching a movie about someone else in my mind. I can't believe that was ever me and I was ever so immersed and trapped in it.

I explain more in the video below. Keep up your spirit!




Friday, August 3, 2018

FRIDAY TIP: SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECIES ARE FALSE PROPHECIES

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"It's impossible."

"Nobody can change their orientation."


"Your marriage will fail. You will make your wife miserable and destroy your children's lives."



In Phase 5--the last and longest phase of your journey--you will hear things like this all the time. Part of the LGBT movement's driving strategy has been to assume the role of prophecy. We saw this in Nathan Collins's speech at the Revoice conference, in which he quoted from the Book of Jeremiah and dared to suggest that pro-gay people railing against Church teaching were actually modern-day prophets standing up to oppression.