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In making a switch from gay to straight, a guy has a lot of work to do during Phase 3, in the area of grooming and wardrobe. Here is an extended discussion with my colleague Jeanette about the reasons for ex-gays to lean toward more conservative choices in grooming and dress. I know many of you are liberal and do not go to church, but I strongly recommend that you look to conservative male standards for dress and appearance as you change the way you groom yourself. Remember a few things about the situation you face after you get past Phase 3:
1. You will not be hiding your ex-gay past. So women who date you will know about it. A cloud of doubt will hang over you inevitably and you want to make grooming choices that quell women's doubts. You cannot blame women for wondering if this is all true; all of them are going to wonder whether you are really gay and destined to go back to that community. Conservative grooming choices will not eliminate doubt, but they will not add to the doubt as much as countercultural, over-the-top choices will. Listen to the video to get some specific questions addressed like hair dye, tight jeans, and sleeveless shirts.
2. You may see a lot of happily married men who are walking around who dress terribly and look like they have let themselves go. Maybe some things will happen later in life that will excuse your doing something similar with yourself. But you are not married yet! You have to keep up good appearances to make good impressions, to overcome women's reluctance to go out with you. So you do not have the option to let yourself go at this point.