Monday, May 21, 2018



Just a quick booster note before I rush out to do my work for the day. I got a piece published for a Christian action group, which I am so grateful for. Some things happened in the last few weeks that I have to take as a call from God; the message from Christ was loud and clear, though I cannot give the details. I know what my mission is right now, and it is to offer practical help to people who are struggling out there, to find hope and uplift in a culture of hate and strife. The piece I ran this weekend encouraged Christians to shift, as much as they can, their focus in the debate on LGBT issues. 

Instead of debating the scriptures that ban homosexuality (the "clobber verses"), I think Christians need to focus on the scriptures that mandate heterosexual sex. Not only is this better for the people they are trying to reach -- namely, people who have called themselves gay but who want to, and can, go on the easy journey to straight identity and living. Also, the debate is healthier for Christians if you focus on the passages where God commands mankind to be heterosexual. 

First, the verses that command heterosexuality will help Christians work through one of their own chronic weaknesses. Often Christians are too negative about sex, and especially, the male sex drive. 

The fact is that God knew exactly what he was doing when He designed the human being. He made the male sex drive raw, animalistic, powerful, and strong. It was wrong to think that the whole male sex urge comes from the devil, because God created Adam before the fall. From what I gather reading Genesis, I would say He created him with genitals that function the same way male genitals do today. Males are drastically different from females specifically because their sexual part transforms when they are aroused.

No evolutionary scientist will ever be able to convince me that genetic mutations caused the human male to evolve the way he turned out. God knows what He designed. He made males such that their genitalia serve a purpose. But he made them so that they have to feel the raw sex urge in order to please a wife, keep her, and experience fatherhood. 

God designed the male body so that men cannot choose when they are ready for sex. This keeps males humble even as males feel a massive aggressive urge in the form of the sex drive. The strange way that male genitals behave reserves the power of life and death, even pleasure and joy, for God. Even the greatest warrior on the battlefield cannot prevent impotence if that is what happens.

If you begin by understanding the male sex drive as something God given, something beautiful and a blessing to the world, then you can discuss God's expectations of us as sexual beings in a more positive light.

It is hard to have discussions about this because many men are like me and have only been with one woman. Because I have only been with one woman I hesitate sometimes to share wisdom with others, because I do not know if I am missing something and there is something very unusual about my experiences that do not transfer to others. 

But I cannot trust research either, since nobody will be forthcoming about their sex lives with strangers doing research, except perhaps for exhibitionists. Having been through the academy and seen the subject-testing rules and peer-review guidelines, I decided about five years ago to treat all research into human sexuality as a joke. Sometimes it's worth a laugh, sometimes it falls flat, but it's never going to explain what you should do in your own bedroom.

Still, from what I have experienced and heard from others, women do enjoy sex. For some reason men have difficulty understanding that their own sex drive is a gift from God to women. There are heights of happiness that women can only experience with a man. And God created man so that the more drive the man has, the more energy he feels in his genitals, the more energy he gives to the woman during sex. 

All of this then circles back to the Biblical debate on sexual orientation. 

With the exception of a few men who were made to be celibate, every man was created by God to be a husband to a woman. God created each of our bodies and our sex drives to be the source of joy and happiness for one woman. God knows what He is doing. He designed females to be picky and careful, so that males must strive and better themselves to win her approval. Even though the end goal is her pleasure, the fact that she makes a man strive for her love enhances the pleasure she gets when he finally wins her over.

God designed the male and female sex organs so that men have to learn over time and become better at sex with the same woman. The more comfortable she is with him, the more both of them will enjoy the act, so the physical reality of God's creation directs us to repetition and commitment. Both male and female gain greater pleasure from the act the more they learn about the other and the more they show the other what pleases them. God knew what He was doing! He wants us to be good in bed, but with one person.

He made us so that we never know which sex act will result in children. He also made us so that we never know which sex act will result in both male and female feeling totally satisfied. Every part of our being was designed to compel us to form a pair and to be making love often, regularly, and continuously. 

God wanted us to have sex. He wanted us to feel that pleasure. But he equipped us to be the right gift for the right person who also wants to enjoy sex. 

Bible verses that don't get mentioned enough

The parable of the lost coin struck me during devotionals as a parable that might actually be relevant to debates on sexuality. The housewife has a bag full of coins but she cleans her entire house in order to find the one lost one. The coin's state of lostness can be understood within the dynamics of today's post on God's sexual gifts to us. A man who has not yet found the woman who needs him to be pleased is lost amid all the clutter of a house. We have to clean up everything and sweep away all the dust to find him, brush him off, and place him where his loving gifts can bring joy to a woman. This parable really swayed me recently and led me to change this blog space, for instance. I feel called by God to set aside all the other coins that we bloggers compete for and focus on the one lost one I am determined to find through all the clutter: the guy who has been given God's gifts and needs to use them to bring happiness to a woman, but who's lost in all the mess of our crazy society.

The parable of the talents is also an interesting one to think of, as we discuss these sexuality issues. What if your sex urge and yes, even your genitalia, are gifts from God, which He wants you to use to bring happiness to one female somewhere? To use your "talent" for God's joy, you have to direct your raw masculine energy and put it to proper use--you have to get out there and date. You have to find that one woman who is right for your gift, and give the gift to her within marriage. If you are running around saying you are gay because it sounds like too much work to run around trying to find a girl who will marry you, you are doing what the bad servant did in the parable of the talents. You are burying God's gift in the ground where it is not doing anybody any good. Maybe you are giving a few moments of passing enjoyment to other guys in the gay scene, but that is not what God designed your body for. God designed your body to fit a woman's and bring her to heights of joy, to which you will never be able to lead a man. So the message of this parable is to do the hard work to allow for your sexual gifts to be shared as they should. Groom yourself to court women, go out and meet women, and find the one God meant for you to make happy.

Sarah's laughter. When Abraham is visited by the Lord in Genesis 18, and he hears that at a very old age he is going to get his wife pregnant, Sarah overhears and laughs. The Bible says that she thought to herself, "After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?" Of course "pleasure" can be taken to mean the happiness of having a child of her own after so many decades of believing herself infertile. But her "laughter" and her thought is impossible to separate from the fact that Abraham is going to have sexual relations with her. When God visits Abraham, He is not only promising a child but also telling Abraham and Sarah that they are going to have sex. God wants us to have sex. He would not have made sex part of making babies if He didn't want us to have sex. This passage in Genesis 18 acknowledges that women enjoy sex--they get pleasure from it--and the male's condition is necessary for women to gain satisfaction during the act. God basically tells Sarah the equivalent of, "stop your laughing, you are going to have a baby and you and your old husband will have sex." God wants them to consummate the act.