Sunday, June 3, 2018



For a quick review, here are the 10 steps, in no particular order, that you have to take care of, when you are getting through Phase 2:

1. Make sure this is what you want to do, and commit to it.
2. Put away the "Big Lie"--the label "gay" and all the assumptions about it defining limits of who you can be.
3. Make a plan.
4. Say your goodbyes to the people you knew in the gay world.
5. End all pornography use.
6. Reduce and cease masturbation.
7. Join the conversation with straight men.
8. Get into a daily Bible-reading program.
9. Exercise with a purpose.
10. Start opening your heart to women.

Okay, we are almost done with Phase 2! Tomorrow we start on Phase 3, the "hiding" stage. For this post, I want to discuss the part in bold above--a daily Bible reading program for yourself.

Even if you are not a church-goer or not religious, I still think it's crucial for you to go along with this part of the journey. The Bible is the most widely recognized text in the world, and it will give you ideas, concepts, and stories that are familiar to other people. After reading through a good part of the Bible, you will be more confident about joining a church, if you are not already part of one. Maybe a church that looked intimidating to you before, because it was too anti-gay or too pro-gay, will now feel like it's not so scary, because you have some command of the scriptures.

Most importantly, if you work with a Bible that is written in English you find easy to read, and hopefully a study Bible that provides a lot of in-depth explanatory notes, you will gradually start to piece together the larger picture of morality, social purpose, happiness, and holiness into which your body and sexuality fit.

Do not go looking for verses that deal with your ex-gay life. Instead read through the whole body, doing 3 chapters per day, taking in every verse. I guarantee that on many days, by coincidence, things happening in your life will coincide wonderfully with a verse you read and you will say, "Eureka!" After a while your struggle will not feel so strange and lonely, because you will see how often people wrestled with these questions--yes, even homosexuality--thousands of years ago.

The Bible is broken up into books. The books are broken up into chapters. The chapters are broken up by verse.

I suggest having three "slots" for Bible reading. In each slot, you are getting through a different book, going one chapter per day until it is done. When you finish one book, you go to the next book in the slot. Here is an example of how I have done it, in an order that really helped me with my struggles:

SLOT 1: Proverbs, Psalms, Job, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, then the prophets (Isaiah to Malachi).

SLOT 2: The New Testament (Matthew to Revelation)

SLOT 3 (I explain the logic behind the order in the video): Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, Genesis, Exodus, 1 Samuel, 2 Samuel, 1 Kings, 2 Kings, 1 Chronicles, 2 Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther

Whenever you cycle through all the readings in one slot you go back and start it over. In the video below I explain in more detail how this works: