Monday, June 4, 2018

MONDAY (2) TIP: IF A GUY IS EFFEMINATE, SHOULD HE GIVE UP ON TRYING TO DATE WOMEN?

[MAKE SURE TO READ THIS LINK FIRST IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME VISITING ENGLISH MANIF.]

The answer to this question is no...but with a caveat that you do have to work on yourself so you have substance behind your confidence. Had a great discussion on Facebook about this. Here is a video response to this question:



Okay, so there are many in the Christian world who simply despise effeminate men and think they turn any church into Sodom. As you go on this journey, you cannot let such people intimidate you. Nothing will improve your masculinity more than will standing up to people who make you feel like you're worthless. So don't give up on your journey from gay to straight just because you talk with your hands or because you walk like a gay guy.

But the story doesn't end there. The truth is, often mannerisms we call "effeminate" are associated not only with superficial body movements but also with a lack of manly character. Men are expected to be Christ-like. Christ was strong enough to bear a cross, undergo severe physical trials, resist temptation, bring healing to others, and take on the sins of others while forgiving them. If Christ did not have physical and emotional strength, the gospels would be totally different. You cannot be Christ-like if you are gossipy, two-faced, snide, sarcastic, selfish, cowardly, or weak.

Maybe this is sexist to say, but those negative characteristics tend to be received as more womanly flaws than male flaws, largely because women develop those habits as self-preservation. Women live with the burden of being the physically weaker sex so their survival instincts often involve social maneuvering and scheming. Men hit each other and then they're friends the next day. It's a major part of the difference between the sexes.

As you become more manly in character--braver, more confident, stronger, more direct, more honest--you will no doubt find your mannerisms also signaling less and less effeminacy. Your high voice will not come across as annoyingly if you are not also gossiping when you talk. The fact that you sway when you walk ("swishing") will not come across as such a turn-off if you have built up your physique so your legs and back are physically strong and you aren't looking around everywhere scared of your own shadow.

So the point is: Work on yourself. Work on substance. Become competent and confident. The mannerisms will follow.