Sunday, May 27, 2018

SUNDAY (2) TIP: GET READY FOR PHASE 2 WEEK--SAYING GOODBYE TO THE GAY SCENE

[MAKE SURE TO READ THIS LINK FIRST IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME VISITING ENGLISH MANIF.]

It is still Sunday where I am, but I am gathering together a lot of really great material for our week focusing on Phase 2 of the Journey (this is when you break away from the gay scene.) I recorded this brief video to give people a brief overview of what to expect as we examine this phase of the change from gay to straight:



A couple of things I hoped to convey in this video, but some of it didn't get in there.

1. Phase 2 in real life does not last a week. It may last as long as a year!

2. My goal is to keep you along but not just push you forward too early. So the two bans are in place starting in Phase 2: NO porn (not even straight porn!) and masturbation has to be near to abstinence. (If you need a stat, the limit you are trying to reach is at least 90 days between times you masturbate.) Let me explain my reasoning here: Porn has got to go immediately and you have to purge all of it. But I don't want to lose you on the journey over masturbation. I get it, it's too much of a shock to say you will never masturbate again, so I hope to work with you through the phases and I'm not willing to scare you off just over masturbation. But as I explain in the video you have to replace masturbation with exercise, this is really important, and if you are still masturbating frequently, you will find it almost impossible to get out of Phase 2.

3. You have to get yourself checked out by the doctor at this phase, especially if you were heavily active in the gay scene. Find out everything you have, and make sure you take the time to get clean. If you picked up herpes in the gay scene, that's never going away but there are ways to manage it, and it is not a deal-breaker for you. If you are HIV+, you cannot go on this journey. I will try to have some posts suggesting celibacy sites or other things to do. But you cannot get into dating women if you have HIV.

4. In Phase 2, do not stress about forcing yourself to be sexually attracted to women yet. You're still a ways away from dating, and you do not need to start disciplining your mind with sexual fantasies. It is important to bring closure to your gay past in a way that's forgiving, decent, and healthy.