Monday, February 23, 2015

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Buy Jephthah's Daughters: Innocent Casualties of the War for Family "Equality"

JEPHTHAH’S DAUGHTERS
Innocent Casualties of the War for Family “Equality”

Book available now!

Edited and compiled by two adults who were raised by lesbians – a radical Jewish feminist and a queer Latino scholar -- this text is the most comprehensive examination of all the social interests sacrificed in the cause of family “equality,” by which we mean the larger set of demands posed in conjunction with the same-sex marriage movement.


It’s not just about love. It was never just about that. It’s about all the groups – children, women, minorities, the developing world, gays, and intellectuals—who will have to be treated as collateral damage in order for the demands of a small elite for family “equality” to be met. This is not speculation or a matter of “beliefs”—this book provides extensive documentation of all the impacts around the whole world, which have already been felt by the so-called marriage equality movement.

At just $19.99, this book is a serious bargain. Weighing in at 484 pages, with 57 essays by sixteen different writers and over 550 endnotes, this text covers an enormous amount of ground, addressing children’s rights, feminism, queer theory, critical race theory, social-justice movements, international relations, immigration, academic integrity, the rights of artists and performers, and much much more.


The bulk of this book consists of testimonials that have never been heard before and arguments that have been noticeably ignored in the debate on same-sex marriage.

Whether you are for or against gay marriage, this text is essential reading. If you oppose gay marriage, you need to master these arguments and galvanize allies so that the full spectrum of documented consequences can be presented to the public before same-sex marriage becomes a global fait accompli.

If you support gay marriage, then it is imperative that you confront and consider all the groups who will have to suffer irreparable harm for your policy goals to be met. You may decide it's worth it, and that's what citizens in a free society are allowed to do: weigh different costs and benefits and arrive at their own judgment. You just need to do it with your eyes open to everything that goes into your judgment. History will lay responsibility at your feet.


Friday, February 20, 2015

The Book Is Here (Just About!)!!!

Dear Readers,

Our book, Jephthah's Daughters: Innocent Casualties in the War for Family 'Equality,' is just about ready to go live on Amazon and the CreateSpace bookstores. We have everything all set in place but are just waiting for the last customary publishers' review, and then it will be up there. At the latest it will be live on the evening of Sunday, February 22.

Here are some details to keep you curious:

It's a very thorough book. Though the price is a steal at $19.99, it contains an enormous amount of information, ranging from academic scholarship to testimonials unveiled for the first time. There are 57 chapters total: A preface, five introductions by guest writers (you'll flip when you find out who they are!), a conclusion, and fifty chapters written by our team of fifteen contributors.

The cover artwork is gorgeous. I won't reveal what's on there until you see it, but it is beautiful art. A classic by an artist you've all heard of.

It is organized systematically into sections. The book is not structured as a polemic against gay marriage. Instead it provides focused consideration of six different groups who have had to be "sacrificed" so that the family 'equality' movement could move forward. These groups are: children, women, society, globe, gay men, and "bards." I use the general term "bards" for all the people who make a business out of expression: musicians, scholars, thinkers, commentators, writers, etc.

Many of the royalties have been earmarked for charities. Many of the contributors have foregone their claim to any royalties, asking for the same to be channeled toward charities for education or pediatric AIDS research. We are looking for other charities that match the particular loyalties of each contributor.

The contributors represent a wide range. We assembled massive diversity in terms of ethnicity, sexual orientation, national origin, and personal life story. The book presents work by children of same-sex couples, adoptees, children of divorce, feminist activists, leftists, conservatives, gay men, from all over the world, representing every race and continent.

It's urgent that you read it now so you know what is at stake in the upcoming Supreme Court case. Whether you are an everyday citizen or a political activist, you have to know what the upcoming Supreme Court decision on marriage equality means. Whether you oppose or support gay marriage, you cannot go into the post-family-equality era without understanding how the Supreme Court's ruling on gay marriage will impact birth certificates, custody, education, adoption, foster care, human trafficking, organ trafficking, biomedical ethics, research, freedom of the press, religion, child safety, sexual health, reproductive health, medical care, political campaigning, activism, online security, economic inequality, racial strife, international relations, taxes, law, culture, psychiatry, epidemiology, publishing, broadcasting, immigration, record-keeping, civil rights ... It affects everything. And what is brought to light in this book, I guarantee you, you have not heard before, or you haven't heard it explained to you in good faith.

To start you off for a few days until the book goes live, I leave you this piece which just ran in Amerian Thinker:

http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2015/02/children_of_samesex_couples_a_turning_point.html

Saturday, February 14, 2015

This is what archival work looks like---- kind of

Just published this little piece in Daily Caller:

http://dailycaller.com/2015/02/13/kids-of-gay-couples-find-their-voice-will-scotus-listen/

Daily Caller is a new stomping ground for me; this is my first publication there. Trying to  share my work with as many audiences as possible.

In this article, I connect the dots for people between the different authors emerging who were children of same-sex couples, like me, and now trying to speak to the complexity of our experience. It is very hard to be independent when you are stuck between conservatives who want one story from you ("gay parenting is bad because gay people are bad and let's find as many ways as possible to get back to talking about how gross sodomy is")  and people like Jeremy Hooper, who think because they are gay and raise kids that you owe them lifelong affirmation for their selfish choices, even if it means you must be silent or lie about all the problems with "gay parenting."

Unfortunately sometimes it takes court cases to occasion the emergence of new voices that have been suppressed up until now. So the Washington Times piece about the four of us who submitted to the 5th Circuit opened up new avenues for us to tell our stories. Over time, I hope our identity as people who were on one side of the marriage debate can recede and we can write our narratives outside of what this means for public policy.

I know we are the beginnings -- the embryonic stage -- of a new literary genre, the same-sex parenting memoir. If I seem a little dismissive about the plentiful testimonials from people who said "I love my two moms" at Pride parades and the like, forgive me, but I am just cutting to the chase. A tell-tale sign that a COG (child of a gay) is telling the parents' story, not his or her own, is when the narrative drifts neatly to the conclusion that the parents' choice to take away a mom or dad and force the kid to grow up in a gay home is totally fine The well-coached, obedient gay parenting slave is programmed to say that it's all the people who anger the parents from outside the home that are the problem. A COG is not a fully developed human being with a developed voice until he/she can gain some distance from the gay guardians and look critically at all of what shaped their childhood, including gay culture. No fully thinking and independent COG can fail to notice how twisted the gay community's relationship is to gay couples' children. The gay community kind of owns you and uses you, then tells you to shut up and hunts you down if you stray off-script. Any COG who shows no signs of having realized this is being paid off, intimidated, or really naive.

This will make for very interesting literary history. Not a huge consolation for how much viciousness we have to endure from the gay lobby and vindictive, defensive gay parents out in the blogosphere. But it's some consolation, even if insufficient. We should never forget, too, that when you see gay parents like Jeremy Hooper vilely attacking adult COGs for criticizing gay parenting, this is a very reliable indicator of the kind of mental abuse they are probably heaping on the children in their care: the snooping around, the shaming, the undermining, the ritual embarrassment, the passive-aggressive guilt trips. Read what Jeremy Hooper has said about me, a child of the gay community. Now picture what it would be like to have Jeremy Hooper in charge of your life, with access to your computer, your diary, your friends, and your school records. It's a scary thought. Here's what scarier: Jeremy Hooper speaks for gay parents in general because he is a solid representative of what gay parents in general are like. So it's not just one man with a blog and a disturbing personality disorder -- it's an abusive movement.

Through all of this, though, I find my bearing by reorienting myself back to my discipline and my scholarly training. I'm a lit crit guy. Currently there's a lot of debate raging about Donald Paul Sullins' articles on gay parenting. I warned people on our side not to go down a rabbit hole with the three studies by Sullins. They are useful research and they carry much more weight than the jerry-rigged, unprofessional social-science that's been used to push gay parenting. BUT -- and this is a very big "but" -- we can't be fighting gay marriage based on a report-card system about who raises kids with fewer problems. On a certain level, even if it's true that kids of gay couples are twice as likely to have ADHD (I can believe it), that's not a reason to oppose gay marriage. If all the kids of gay couples went to Yale like me, you should oppose gay marriage because all those Yalies had rights to their mother and father. How rich they are or how many psychological problems they have should not be the issue.

In the past, the conservative movement has not been receptive enough to our views on the marriage debate, so I won't be surprised if they hang everything on the Sullins research, snub the COGs again, and lose once more. I've done my part writing to them about social science and pleading with them to stay interdisciplinary and humanitarian -- look at human rights and human dignity, not scorecards. Let us tell our stories, don't turn us into statistics. COGs do not exist to be weighed and measured and found wanting. We are people.

Monday, February 9, 2015

RIP, Dreams of Gay Parenting Bliss

This article speaks for itself:

http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/the_no_difference_theory_is_dead

The first study conducted on a representative sample without significant selection bias has concluded that gay parenting causes twice the levels of mental health difficulties in children.

Heather has two mommies, four psychiatrists, and a law guardian.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Children of Same-Sex Couples are Finding their Voice -- And Making More Progress Each Day

Well Katy Faust's debut article in Public Discourse, which was an open letter to Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, is now at 181,000 shares and will likely clear 200,000. I may be wrong but this will stand as the most popular essay ever published by Public Discourse. 

Wow, what a way to get in the game! I am incredibly proud of Ms. Faust. The day after her article came out, Rivka Edelman's mercilessly honest appraisal of the pro-gay side in DeBoer v. Snyder came out in Federalist. 

http://thefederalist.com/2015/02/03/lbgt-demands-for-other-peoples-children-are-misogynistic/

These are exciting times. Quite a bit has changed since the beginning of 2015, and much of it good for those of us who were raised by gay parents. We are finding more spaces to express the range of our experiences. And we are maintaining our independence from the agendas of other organizations, which is very important.

The left sacrificed us long ago to keep the gay lobby happy. The right had a dysfunctional relationship with us for years, wanting to use us for campaigns from time to time, then typically tossing us overboard when they found it much more pleasant and profitable to talk about Christian businesses and religious freedom. Kids who grew up in strange and stressful homes tend to have strange and stressful stories to tell--people both for and against gay marriage have a habit of seeing us as a drag.

The solution for us was simply to rally support for each other and be independent of the right/left divide. That's where we are at now. And it feels great. I can't wait for Jephthah's Daughters to come out next week. I think you'll love the cover!

As you might expect, the usual scorpions have crawled out of their little burrowing places under slimy rocks. Jeremy Hooper is at it again. Oh look, another cameo from Scott Rose, Gay man with fake avatar paid by friends of Hooper I mean  "Straight Grandmother" is back with more of his her "gotchya" volleys (this time I think she's discovered that one of us is really Mark Regnerus's alien mother-in-law from the planet Zyptron, come to steal water from Straight Grandmother's backyard in Palmdale, California.)

This is what Snarky Gay Bloggers do, on cue, over and over again. Whenever children of same-sex couples speak for themselves and refuse to follow the script forced on them by Gay Inc., Jeremy Hooper, Zack Ford, and the rest of their hyperventilating gang show up with accusations, insults, and distractions, engaging in the typical emotional terrorism and Mean Girls subterfuge that you can bet they will apply to children they raise in their homes. If they treat adults raised by gay parents this way, how do you think they will treat children raised by them? Let's pray for them and especially the beautiful human beings who are forced to live in their homes and deal with such nastiness every day. (Mean bloggers do not become nice when they turn off the computer and deal with their kids.)

The best course of action is always to carry on with dignity and grace. Haters gonna hate. I want to congratulate Katy Faust and Rivka Edelman and say the year's gotten off to a great start. Here's to even more great work ahead!

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Update--Get Ready for the Sextet of Truth!

The book Jephthah's Daughters: Innocent Casualties of the War for Family 'Equality' is going to be out and available in the next ten days. Keep an eye out for it!

In the meantime, some of you may have come across articles about the "Quartet of Truth," which is the name the Washington Times gave to Team Marriage: Me, Rivka Edelman, Katy Faust, and Dawn Stefanowicz. See here:

http://cnsnews.com/news/article/lauretta-brown/adults-raised-gay-couples-speak-out-against-gay-marriage-federal-court

Well, there are two more adult children of same-sex couples who will be joining us for the next round of advocacy for children's rights. So we will soon be a sextet!

An update is coming soon, I promise, with the link to Amazon's page for our book.

Meanwhile, Katy Faust has debuted in Public Discourse with this excellent letter to Justice Anthony Kennedy:

http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2015/02/14370/

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Sunday, January 4, 2015

New Year in Progress...

We are off to a strong start for the New Year. Progress is coming along nicely on our book Jephthah's Daughters, which will be out very soon. There are some surprise contributors who are pretty exciting, and quite a bit of new material is going to be included. So definitely keep an eye out for it!

We have finished locating the many videos that provide representative samples of the work that English Manif was doing. Until we have the book out, feel free to browse the videos along the left-hand column of this page. There are some ideas and a lot of information there.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Thanks for coming to English Manif. We have some somber news to share. We will have to change, but it's probably all for the best.

Dear readers,

When Papa Maman and I launched English Manif in January 2013, we had no idea of the reach our work would attain. I do not want to reveal our visitor stats--lately I've come to be guarded about any information regarding this blog -- but they are shockingly high given how young the blog is.

With unforeseen success has come, unfortunately, a lot of challenges for which I was not prepared. Due to some of these challenges, and in the interest of protecting contributors and correspondents, we have had to take down and archive the 2,000 posts that were published here; we have warehoused them somewhere safe but cannot leave them as open-source resources to the reading public anymore.

We will be publishing the most important essays from English Manif as books. Our goal going forward is to ensure that the work we do here is disseminated with proper contextualization and having gone through as careful an editing process as possible.

In a nutshell, English Manif is all grown up now. We have to take our work to the next level, which means collecting essays and publishing them as proper books.

Jephthah's Daughters will be the first book to come out, presenting the fifty most important and representative essays from English Manif. Please check back by the end of January, when we hope to have the full volume edited and ready for sale. The prices will be modest, enough to cover the production cost and extra labor tied to preparing work for adequate publication.

I have received a flood of emails from readers who are frustrated and disappointed that we can no longer leave English Manif as a free and open resource. We -- and by "we," I mean the vast team of people who were behind English Manif -- will be striving to make the resources available for as little cost as possible, but with assurances that the content will be protected.

Please enjoy the holiday season, and accept our deepest blessings.

ROBERT OSCAR LOPEZ