Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Gregoria's Chants, Part 2

I am very behind in covering news -- so sorry to folks. But here is this piece from Gregoria --- ROL.


The world is so turned upside down that what I once thought would fill me with horror now inspires hope.

I think polygamy is terrible. Bad for young men who get cut out of the marriage game, bad for impressionable young women who get bamboozled by dominant, charismatic older men, and so on. So why do I applaud this?

Because I want the stupid, somnolent American public to get its face rubbed in a little thing called karma.

If you want to get rid of standards that are written into our cultural DNA (monogamy goes back to the Roman Empire, Christianity added the the innovation that a couple was actually supposed to mean it), then we have to accept that anything now goes.

Ya want SSM? Yer gonna have to accept polygamy.

And then incest. Why not? Deformed babies - who cares? Two lesbians deliberately conceived a deaf baby. Outlaw marriages between carriers of genetic diseases then. And this doesn't affect gay incestuous unions, does it?

This is why I applaud the new development. 

Bring it on! This is the ONLY thing that will wake up the public. If it doesn't, we are dead as a society anyway.


Dear Supporters....Don't Worry

I've gotten a few very kind emails from friends who want to know how to defend me against vile attacks on my character by organizations that are, unfortunately, close to President Obama.

I want to thank everyone who contacted me and tell you, please, don't worry. This is Wednesday, after all. There has been no impact on me and nobody seems to care very much aside from the usual trolls.

So don't feed them by arguing with them. Eventually the donors who contribute money to them will realize they're wasting nonprofit funds and will pressure them to focus on real issues affecting the LGBT community or else forget about getting any more checks from people.

Why they are choosing to lose their collective mind over me -- an openly bisexual lesbian's son who supports civil unions and foster care for gay couples (and just objects to same-sex parenting for human rights reasons) -- isn't clear. I'm not going to take the time to psychoanalyze them. I feel sorry for them.

With war in the Middle East and Eastern Europe, a border crisis beyond anyone's worst predictions, and Great Britain about to break up, it is just going to be harder for these trolls to keep LGBT paranoia in the headlines. I'm not really all that interesting. A story about me isn't going to get these folks back on CNN, not anytime soon.

Embarking on activism as a solo act, though with a lot of great friends on English Manif, I've lived and learned. Two years ago, I might have tried to jump and defend myself point by point, but that's not going to accomplish very much. The people who issued their so-called "report" would like nothing more than for me to react. I'm not going to react.

We are all engaged in important conversations and some of us don't have much to say to one another. That's a healthy part of life.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Before you follow the Human Rights Campaign down another rabbit hole, read about how badly they screwed up Don't Ask Don't Tell

It's now four years after the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell, a moment that represented the culmination of hard work by groups like the Human Rights Campaign. At the time, I was still in the service. I'd seen a lot. I was outed in my unit. I stayed in and got an honorable discharge. But I knew that there was much more to the story than just pulling back DADT so that gays could serve openly. I knew that the vast majority of gays in the military wanted their sexuality kept secret -- because they feared other gays' sexual aggressiveness. 

This was the problem that they didn't want to talk about on DADT. The Human Rights Campaign received boatloads of money to push for the repeal based on one narrative: Patriotic gay wants to serve but bad evil homophobes force him to lie.

That story was actually not representative of a lot of gays in the military. In the Pentagon survey released on December 1, 2010, it was established that only 15% of gays in the military planned to come out of the closet. The rest didn't want to be out in their unit. Why? Because they didn't want to be an open target for other gay men to rape. 

And no, I don't mean closeted gay men of the American Beauty suppressed-homophobe-Marine variety. I mean out of the closet, bells and whistles, homosexual men who flaunt their identity and want a nice piece of meat to enjoy. If you are in the military, and you are gay, and you are open, those other homosexuals can use physical force and lots of other forms of coercion to force you to have sex with them. 

So a classic DADT story was there, but not noticed, and it differed from "Patriotic gay wants to serve but bad evil homophobes force him to lie." It went like this: "I was outed, then I was raped, then I wanted to leave, so I used DADT to get out."

The Human Rights Campaign and other gay rights organizations refused to believe, let alone acknowledge, the latter narrative. People like me were vocal and posed tough questions in 2010: What protections are there for people who are outed through gossip and then targeted for rape? CAN THEY LEAVE?

I got lots of runaround answers, always loaded with a lot of "don't be stereotypical" BS, as if only a neanderthal would picture gay men raping other gay men. But the bottom line was, no, you cannot leave. The loophole is gone. And the reality is that most people who left under DADT wanted to leave, something that the Human Rights Campaign and others failed to acknowledge.

In the midst of the controversy in late 2010, I posted on the blog I was running (now defunct), that the repeal, if carried out without precautions or a loophole option for men who get raped, would wreak havoc on gay men's lives. More of them would be raped, more would commit suicide.

It's four years later now, and I was right. Read this:

The Human Rights Campaign is not talking about Don't Ask Don't Tell anymore. They've moved on, flush with money, drunk with their power, elated with their political ADD. Now they are onto a new shiny object, since they are winning gay marriage in the US hands down. Now they are focused on a neocolonial project that involves supposedly protecting LGBT rights overseas from American oppressors. They're wandering into global gobbledygook and prattling about countries and cultures they do not understand. It appears to be their next big plan.

So they need a narrative, again. And they need to ignore some narratives, again.

The narrative they want now is, "Family-values homosexual couple just wants to give a child a loving home, but evil American bigots are going to stop them."

This narrative is even flimsier and more far-fetched than the patriotic gay soldier being "kicked out for being gay." At least there were a fair number of people who were kicked out of the military when they were outed as gay. 

But the notion that people need to let gays get married so that they can give children loving homes is complete fiction from top to bottom. There are no children anywhere in the world who have two dads or two moms. Every child has or had one mother and one father. There may be stepparents, law guardians, mentors, what have you (and there are rare cases where children are adopted), but in zero percent of cases do two people of the same sex exist in relation to a child in the same way that a mother and father exist in relation to a child. Somewhere, in living time or in a graveyard, there exists a third-party who is part of the child's identity but not part of the home. And 100% of the time, one of the two gay adults is at best a stepparent.

So there are lots of other narratives now that the Human Rights Campaign does not want to address. Like this:

"Dad ran off with a man and then went to court to take me away from Mom. Dad's new boyfriend wants me to call him dad too but I just can't."

"My dad was an anonymous sperm donor. I think about who he was all the time. The mystery bugs me."

"My two dads bought me from my mother, who sold me. I hate her for selling me. I hate my dads for buying me."

"I am Asian but I am being raised by two white men in a high rise who want me to call them dad. They say they got me from an orphanage in Vietnam. One day I will go and find my mother and father, and I wonder what to say to them."

Those are all painful narratives. There is affection involved in them, yes, but deep pain. And in all these narratives, the pain is tied to decisions made on the basis of what gay adults wanted. So the gay adults in these latter narratives are abusing their power and by extension abusing children.

The Human Rights Campaign does not want to deal with this, anymore than they wanted to deal with the problem of gay rape in the military. So they go after people like me with a vengeance. In fact, they have moved into the realm of Internet stalking by putting up a page that says I should be "on notice" for their harassment and violent threats. 

They are having a much harder time with this issue than with repealing DADT because back in 2010, lots of other people did not want to talk about gays raping gays in uniform. The military didn't want to acknowledge it happened. The gay victims were largely silent out of shame. Conservatives did not want to know that was happening in the military. And many military people hated the idea of someone using DADT to get out, because they hated the idea of anyone leaving the military willfully. 

This time around, it's harder for HRC. Internationally, their notion that they have a right to have children is not convincing people. They are hitting massive roadblocks in Europe, Asia, and Africa. The alternative narratives are harder to suppress, because people have obvious questions that can't be silenced so easily.

So this can go one of two ways. Either the general public repeats the error they made in 2010, and they give the Human Rights Campaign everything they want, only to have a massive mess to clean up later. Look at Senator Gillibrand from New York. She was gangbusters about repealing DADT, and now she has to work on a sexual assault bill for the military, without acknowledging that she is largely responsible for the problems caused by the hasty and sloppy way DADT was repealed.

In this case, the scenario goes like this: The HRC succeeds in whipping up outrage at me, trying to link me to people with whom I have almost nothing in common, demonizing me to the public, with the goal of silencing any doubts about "gay families"; they get everything they want, including untrammeled surrogacy and birth certificates with two moms or two dads issued on demand; in ten years, everyone has to clean up the mess left by shattered family bonds, a trade in child trafficking, and people's lost heritage.

Or there is another scenario: The public learns the lessons from the repeal of DADT. They stand up now and look seriously at children's rights. They apply children's rights across the board, to oppose abuses by gay or straight people. They avoid the pitfalls of history.

The choice is yours. I will say nothing more about the Human Rights Campaign and its hit lists. I have things to do.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Don't Sell Our Kids into Adoption

Revolution Britain

a message regarding THE UK FAMILY COURTS SYSTEM
A message to David Cameron and Sir James Munby

Greetings citizens of the world. We are anonymous.

Government of the United Kingdom, it has come to our attention that you are routinely abusing the children of the country in corrupt Family Courts.
This is your first and only warning!

It is not acceptable for children to be taken from their parents and sold into adoption by social services.

It is not acceptable for a child to have their mother or father taken from them.

It is not acceptable for family laws to be abused in favour of one parent over the other.

It is not acceptable for your corrupt system to support a £43 billion industry.

Our children are not for sale, and you cannot have them.

David Cameron, this message is aimed directly at you. You have the power to intervene and undo some of the damage that this, and previous, governments have done to the children of our country.

You are required to immediately re-introduce the term 'assumption of shared parenting' into your government's children and families bill. As a parent who has suffered loss, you understand the pain that parents experience when they cannot see their child.

Furthermore, you are required to recognise early day motion 2 1 0 in the Houses of Parliament for immediate discussion.

You are also required to stop payments made to social services for the placement of a child with an adoptive family. If you continue to allow your government to sell our children in this way, you will be found guilty of human trafficking on an industrial scale. You will be punished!

Sir James Munby, this is a message for you.

You have begun the process of removing the secrecy of the family courts and we recognize this. However, you are responsible for the judges that work in your family court system and, therefore, you are also guilty of their crimes, unless you immediately address them.

You are required to send your judges a message.

You must tell them that they will, from now on, do everything they can to keep a child with its parents.

You must tell them that they must do everything to ensure that a child has a relationship with both parents.

You must tell them that they must do their duty correctly and they must not continue to support the corrupt government services and parents who wish to abuse the children.

You have all been warned.

Failure to save the children of this country will be treated as an act of child abuse and you will be found guilty. You will not receive further warning.

Your enemy is now the parents of this country. We will protect our children and the children of our children.

We are grandparents.
We are mothers.
We are fathers.
We are anonymous.
We do not forgive.
We do not forget.
Expect us.

2 mamans + 1 papa + 6 grands-parents = un gamin qui commence dans l'inégalité

A lire dans ce journal suisse:

This is one crazy piece . . .

. . . have a listen:

Civil rights struggle: should transgendered "women" be welcomed at the feminists' table.  Some feminists say: NO!  How dare they?!?

Human Rights Campaign -- gets it wrong again!

Okay, so apparently I am listed as one of the top activists fighting against "LGBT rights" in a new report published by the Human Rights Campaign.

It bears repeating: I support human rights, which means children's rights to their origins, their rights to a mom and dad, and their rights not to be bought or sold. Whoever violates those rights, gay or straight, is free to perceive that my fight opposes me to their work. But all children, including gay children, have a mom and dad. So I am pro-gay-rights insofar as I am defending gay children's rights to their mom and dad.

On a more specific note, HRC claims I was at a March for Marriage hosted by NOM. I was not at any of NOM's marriage marches and I am not a part of NOM. The people in HRC have gotten into the habit of misrepresenting me and others, because they are shameless, I suppose.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

After years of suppressing conservatives, suddenly the left decides that free speech is more important than civility... and I ain't buying it

Conservatives: Read this article but make sure not to be drinking anything while you read. 

You will burst into laughter. See what the Left is doing now: After years and years of silencing us by accusing us of being bigots and causing everything from campus rape to gay suicide, now, now, the Left is claiming that speech codes and pleas for "civility" are too restrictive on their free speech. All it took was a few pro-Hamas people hurling insults at Israel and then being admonished for the Left to suddenly say that we must be comfortable with speech that offends or even unsettles us.
What happened to trigger warnings? What happened to LGBT "safe space" zones? What happened to all the reprisals against people for "slut shaming"? The boycotts against Chick Fil-A, Barilla Pasta, and Gordon College? Meanwhile, all 23 campuses of the Cal State University system have blocked Christian groups from receiving student activity fees, and Left says...
But a girl in Ohio throws pig blood on herself on the quad to denounce Israel, and the college administration issues a mild indirect plea that people should really not act like complete freaks while others just want to go to class -- and BOOM! The Left is out in full force, in Salon and DailyKos of course, condemning them for shaming the blood-splattered and chilling her "free speech."
I want to be a good person and say I will set aside my political differences with the Left and join forces for free speech. But I will not do that. I am too aware that the Left is never going to fight for free speech for conservatives. And in fact they will use their free speech to block and attack and blacklist conservatives, so the more they win, the more we lose.
It is sad but that's how it goes.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

The link between the BDS movement and the same-sex parenting movement

The Playbook used by BDS and the same-sex parenting movement:
Nurit Baytch has assembled here an important case against the hiring of Steven Salaita at U of Illinois. I do not support denying someone employment based on what they tweet. However, "L'Affaire Salaita" as documented here shows the corruption and nepotism, the tangled web of favoritism and collusion used by the people who organize around academically toxic concepts like the BDS movement (boycott, divestment and sanctions against Israel).
The tactics used by BDS should be obvious here: They plant their minions on the editorial boards of publications and search committees, post peculiar job ads that are clearly meant to earmark jobs for those who will use their post to advocate their specific view point, and then misrepresent each other in job searches so that administrations become lulled into their agenda. Rapidly they use their fluffed resumes and jerry-rigged studies to overwhelm professional organizations like the MLA (in the case of BDS) and the American Psychiatric Association (in the case of same-sex parenting).
I hope that the controversy surrounding BDS's illegitimate tactics will eventually cause people to think twice about the same-sex parenting movement as well. We need to protect the academy's original mission of searching for the truth, not conspiring to advance a political agenda.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Goodbye Joan

I wrote this homage to Joan Rivers, which is really a retrospective on why people with weird lives like me were particularly drawn to her. Goodbye, Joan. I promise we won't stop laughing.

This might be hard to believe for the boring, politically correct homosexuals raised on GLAAD, Matthew Shepard tributes, and prudish platitudes like "marriage equality," but there was once a time when being a queer meant having a sense of humor.

With Joan Rivers gone, I honestly think our last bridge to that earlier age of gay culture is completely lost.  She embodied what was most special about my butch lesbian mother as well as my uncivilized but adorable kiki-nanay gay friends.  As a toddler in the 1970s, I was already learning how to laugh at everything because of her scandalous appearances on late-night TV.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Musical Break: Stromae Papaoutai

One of the biggest hits of all time in France.  From a young man who grew up with an absent father:

Friday, September 5, 2014

Children's Rights Experts Weigh In on the Gay Birth Certificate Bill

This statement by the International Children's Rights Institute provides an important look at what's at stake in allowing two men or two women to be listed as sole parents on a child's birth certificate:

It is definitely worth reading. If you know of anyone in California encourage them to write to the governor urging a veto. It is a long shot but let's see.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Rest in Peace, Joan

Once upon a time, we queers used to laugh a lot.

To honor Joan, we should get back to that.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

"Problems" with Gay App Grindr

So you are not familiar with the Grindr app?  Well read this lovely article and you might find other problems with it besides the ones mentioned in the article . . .  Have a fun read . . .

Louisiana: Upholds Traditional Marriage

There you have it:


Article here.

Obama makes us all complicit with child trafficking

Refusing to reveal where the kids are from the border crisis:

How many layers of creepy are there to this administration?

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Un peu en retard mais il fallait le souligner: Najat Ministre de l'Education.

La nomination de celle qui fut le principal avocat de la théorie du genre au sein du gouvernement, à la tête de l’Education nationale est une provocation pour les familles. Dans son combat pour faire entrer la théorie du genre à l’école, Najat Vallaud-Belkacem a fait preuve d’un sectarisme qui fut condamné jusque dans sa famille politique.
En lire plus ici.

Obese Lesbians. Why?

We still don't know says the federal government.  You can read the article about the study here. Some will be quick to point the finger at us saying that it is because of society's rejection that they are experiencing these problems.  Well, as this article suggests, LGBT people might have psychological disorders because of bad relationships, not rejection . . .

Bill Donohue Says it Clearly Once Again

Catholic League president never minces his words.  He corrects a New York Times editorial in which the author refers to the priestly scandal as a "pedophile" scandal.  Donohue begs to differ.  Read here

More from the catcall wars

Well, there is a heap of stuff on children's rights to blog about, and I am terribly behind, because I took several months off from my usual busy blogging for some high-pressure, urgent family & work stuff.

So I shouldn't be wasting time jumping in on the debates about catcalling. But nobody is coming to my office hours and I am bored, so why resist?

I don't know how this latest brushfire started, but somebody started posting things about catcalling and sexism, and now there's a string of provocative articles about whether it's sexist to catcall women from afar.

My first reaction is to wonder where these people spend their time. I have lived the bulk of my life in large cities where there are lots of construction sites and such, and I don't see rampant threatening catcalling. You hear some "hey baby," etc., but I don't see the severe stuff on a regular basis, like people are discussing in all these articles.

My second reaction is to wonder if anyone is interested at all in the psychology of lonely men. Hormones are powerful. Women can be difficult to approach. Men get rejected a lot. Some men are great guys but awkward and clumsy; others are just incredibly shy. The way many of them break the ice with females is hardly going to be pitch-perfect all the time.

You aren't supposed to sleep with co-workers. You can't sleep with people who have ties to people close to you; i.e., your brother's ex-wife or your sister's best friend. Online dating is easy for women but for men it's like putting token after token in the slot machine out of a hopeless belief that at some point you'll get a response. And paying a hooker for sex isn't legal in most places.

So how are men supposed to find sex partners?

So picture yourself as the average-looking, typical male with okay looks and not a lot of money. He's feeling his endocrine system's effects and really feels the inkling to mate. He isn't a sexy drunk, and is very shy when he's sober. He has roommates so he can't masturbate much. He feels, well, "inspired." And a pretty girl passes by. It's a long shot, but what isn't a long shot for this guy?

"Hi sexy, you sure look good." Is that the end of the world?

I know I'm probably sounding sexist but really, ladies, just take it as a compliment. And let the guy talk to you once in a while to see if maybe some of these guys who seem like creeps aren't a diamond hiding in the rough.

Monday, September 1, 2014

David Quinn: Commercial surrogacy is the disaster we all feared

This piece ran in Ireland's Independent:

David Quinn, head of the Iona Institute, discusses the links among marriage, child-rearing, and human rights, to argue that commercial surrogacy is unsalvageable. A good read.

Australia also struggling with adoption reform

This piece reveals the complexities of Australia's debate over adoption reform:

Daily Beast exposes slavery practiced by ISIS

A chilling account that ran in the Daily Beast:

It is crucial to note that there is still a market in teenage girls, which bridges prostitution and commercial "breeding." Therefore we have to be on our guard when it comes to financial windfalls tied to adoption and surrogacy. It will remain difficult for adoptive families or families acquiring children through third-party reproduction to be sure that they are finding children through ethical venues or unwittingly wandering into the slave trade.

Ethiopian adoption fracas

This came in from Against Child Trafficking:

Apparently in this case it was the Ethiopian women's advocacy group that challenged an adoption from an orphanage in the Ethiopian courts.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

The Gattoparda Gazette: Breaking Silence about Female Childlessness

If we are to get anywhere on children's rights, we will have to make progress against the child-as-property myths that fuel so much of child trafficking and third-party reproduction.

But to get to that place, we have to unpack the pressures that drive infertile heterosexuals to seek children so forcefully, even when their quest crosses the line into buying and selling children.

Gattoparda has been doing a lot of work to trace and challenge the notion that women who choose not to have children are somehow less valuable than other women. She found four key articles to look at this issue:


A key step in breaking down the market to buy and sell children is simply reducing the "Demand" side of the equation. It is important to humanize and respect women who make the choice not to be mothers. If that choice is demonized, then the pressure to have children will continue to drive the baby-buying craze that underlies third-party reproduction and commercialized adoption.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

La Joie de Vivre 4: 4 -- the California Birth Certificate Bill

An Open Letter to Governor Brown

cc: Rep. Jimmy Gomez, Los Angeles

May 12, 2014

Dear Governor Brown,

California Governor Jerry Brown
I work for you. I am an Associate Professor of English and Classics at California State University-Northridge.

I know that a bill, AB 1951, sponsored by Jimmy Gomez of Los Angeles, may reach your desk for signature soon. It will allow for birth certificates to be issued, which indicate gay men as “mother” and lesbians as “father.” I would like you to veto it and please begin the process of reversing California’s destructive trend toward same-sex parenting homes. While you may have been led to believe that children raised by gay couples are delighted with their lives and view their guardians uncritically, the hidden truth is that many of us who were raised by gay couples are hurting and feel that our rights have been violated.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Orphans in limbo in the Congo

This is the way Fox News reported it, but I will write to other adoption experts to get their point of view.

Friday, August 22, 2014

The Robin Williams Caveat: Killing Yourself Is A High Crime When You Have Children

This piece in LA Weekly says it all:

Rollins points out that when you have children, you "waive your right" to live only for yourself -- and die only for yourself. Your children have a right to have you there. If someone kills you, that's a whole different issue. To kill yourself is to rob your child of half of themselves. It is a high crime. That's why I hope to be sensitive to mental health issues but I can never go soft on the issue of suicide. People who kill themselves should not be honored or praised in any way. As a culture, ritually, we should draw from the real value of shaming. I know shaming is a dirty word, but there is value in understanding what is shameful and what is not. Killing yourself is worthy of shame; your name should never be uttered with the dignity we show toward people who suffer their torments in life for the sake of people who need them and love them. I hear some say that mental illness is too powerful to make such a harsh statement. It is painful to hear it. But suicide is such a contemptible act, it is impossible to say that honoring those who have committed it is compassionate -- to honor their act is cruel to those whom they aggrieved by their selfish act. I have loved ones in my life who were suicidal, largely because of depression or mood disorder; but they always arranged for some way for others to intervene. Even in the depths of their despair, they left a note or scattered clues so someone could find them and save them. I don't consider such "outs" cowardly -- if anything, it shows that something inside such people still kept a light of honor. Those who kill themselves methodically, making sure nobody can stop them, are the true cowards.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Scenes from the modern slave trade in Bangkok

I hesitate to beat up on Thailand too much, considering that the United States is a hotbed of surrogacy, much of it little better than the black-market slavery we see in this piece:

But this is stunning -- 21 babies found in another baby factory in Thailand.

Guardian piece explaining what next for Thai surrogacy

The good news is, the Thai government has technically banned commercial surrogacy.

The bad news is, the traffic in babies is going to move somewhere else unless gay couples and infertile heterosexuals learn to envision a life without being exclusive parents of someone else's child. 

It is the need to have a child and "own" the child's love that will cause the chess pieces to move from country to country, state to state, legal loophole to legal loophole. Nature is cruel. Many people who have their own biological children --myself included--probably need to be less obnoxious when we talk about our kids. We need to stop bragging about our children and throwing them in other people's faces. Society has to de-emphasize parenthood as a mythical, utopian ticket to happiness. 

There is much that can be done to diminish the demand side of baby trafficking.

But people have to do some work on themselves as well. Infertility does not have to be a death sentence. There are still many children that need foster homes or, in some cases, adoptive homes. For a couple that wants to love a child but cannot conceive the child sexually, there are many ways to arrange forms of helping other families care for their children. Cooperative forms. Think of the 400,000 kids in foster care. 

If you allow yourself to be consumed by a dream of parenthood that's impossible, if you let the Gay Lobby's endless pro-parenting propaganda or the fertility industry's marketing offensives brainwash you, you will lose a part of yourself in the quest to have a child.