Friday, April 3, 2015

History has been made!

One week ago (March 27, 2015), three briefs were filed at the Supreme Court in Washington DC. I was there!

Each of the three briefs was authored by a pair of COGs -- or children of gays. Six COGs authored passages in all, though we were also speaking on behalf of the hundreds of gay families whose members we've worked with.

This represents the first time that the Supreme Court will be reading independent, scholarly advisement on marriage policy from COGs writing on their own. Up until now, COGs have been largely controlled by COLAGE, which answers mostly to the demands of aspiring gay parents even though they claim to represent "children of lesbians and gays everywhere." COLAGE has typically not given much depth or extended time to individual COGs, especially COGs who are independent of their gay guardians, able to think critically about same-sex parenting, and stable enough in their education and career to speak openly and survive the backlash from gay parents.

All that's changed now. It took years for us COGs who wanted to speak honestly and independently to hone our voices, find our platforms, and work together even if we don't always agree on topics like civil unions, adoption, and religion. We all agree that kids need someone to look out for them and that hasn't happened up until now.

Read the briefs -- they are, beyond historic, very informative and ranging.

Here is the joint brief filed by Dawn Stefanowicz and Denise Shick:

http://www.supremecourt.gov/ObergefellHodges/AmicusBriefs/14-556_Dawn_Stefanowicz_and_Denise_Shick.pdf

Here is the joint brief filed by Katy Faust and Heather Barwick:

http://www.supremecourt.gov/ObergefellHodges/AmicusBriefs/14-556_Heather_Barwick_and_Katy_Faust.pdf

Here is the joint brief filed by me and B.N. Klein:

http://www.supremecourt.gov/ObergefellHodges/AmicusBriefs/14-556_Robert_Oscar_Lopez_and_BN_Klein.pdf

It is crucial that the state attorneys know that these briefs are out there and represent the scholarly viewpoints of people who have actual standing in the question of gay marriage. Often during these debates, people who don't stand to lose anything for gay marriage are the ones who always talking--on both sides.

The six of us and the hundreds for whom we speak have a stake in gay marriage. We will bear the brunt of the fallout. We need our voices to be heard.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Support the Gay Right to Own Slaves!

Garett Epps from Atlantic Monthly on NPR yesterday literally warned that religious liberty laws will be cited by "PEDIATRICIANS AND VETERINARIANS" to refuse service to gay families. SO GAY PEOPLE'S KIDS ARE LIKE THEIR PETS?
OH MY GOD!!!!! Why does our side not have the guts to draw parallels to slavery and Jim Crow when it's staring us right in the face? History and ethics are totally on OUR side but people who oppose same-sex marriage always want to be so understated and nice, then they capitulate within two days.

Jim Crow is Gay, Haven't You Heard?

EVERYONE PLEASE NOTE THIS AND REFERENCE IT IN FUTURE DEBATES:
The LGBT movement has no place accusing the Indiana law of being like Jim Crow. Same-sex parenting is Jim Crow because it FORCES children AGAINST THEIR WILL to live in segregated domestic spaces. The state unilaterally estranges a child from its mother or father or both, then transfers to two gay adults the financial, psychological, and physical power to keep the child in a home that excludes one sex for EIGHTEEN YEARS. If the child wants to leave, or if the excluded parent wants their kid back, THE GAY COUPLE USES STATE FORCE to keep the child against the child's will.
Why does nobody notice this?

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

One of the recent interviews I've done

I had the great opportunity of connecting with a few African American radio stations lately. It was nice to speak among men of color on these tough issues.  I hope to do more.

https://soundcloud.com/jesseleepeterson/robert-oscar-lopez-raised-by-lesbians-childrens-rights-institute

Oh and this piece came out in Washington Times.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/mar/27/adult-children-of-gays-say-gay-marriage-isnt-good-/

Friday, March 20, 2015

Dear Conservatives: You know I love you, so please just don't get stuck on these things that annoy you

I love conservatism. I built my scholarly career on it -- to demonstrate, I refer you to Colorful Conservative, my scholarly monograph.

And I love conservatives.

I am conservative.

But I am, I guess, an annoying conservative. For the following reasons, which I hope fellow right-wingers can get over.

1. I really like Michel Foucault and queer theory

This is tough to tolerate, I know. It would be so much better if I quoted G.K. Chesterton, worshipped Edmund Burke, and lined my shelves with Ayn Rand and Hayek.

Instead, I have four head shots of Michel Foucault hung over the printer in my office and get a happy feeling inside when I think about Madness and Civilization and Discipline and Punish. Now, I am open to the idea that Foucault is actually a dark, malevolent intellectual force, especially when you consider that he inspired someone as scary as Judith Butler. He is often credited for destroying sexual ethics as we once knew it.

On the other hand, he understood so clearly how the to counteract the Orwellian tendencies of the Left. He predicted, indirectly, that the Left would slide into its own totalitarianism and reproduce all the power condensations that leftists sought to overturn. Foucault got language, the way power slips and slides out of our grasp. Let me throw out a wild guess and conjecture that he would not have believed that the social-science "consensus" on same-sex parenting was anything more than a discursive illusion. You can read him without turning into Dan Savage.

2. I love the French

I am not sure why conservatives view people with distrust when Francophilia rears its lovely head. There is something admittedly pretentious about being American and loving everything French.

But what can I say? The French may elect socialist governments but they are delightfully conservative in all the ways that count. They take nation and clan very seriously. For them femininity and masculinity both matter. And of all other countries in the world, it was really France that led the way in articulating the strong case against same-sex marriage and gay adoption.

3. I support civil unions for gay people

This is such a contentious issue and has burnt so many bridges between me and right-wingers I could have been allied to. I am happy not to talk about it too much. People have shown me the folly of supporting any halfway measure for gay couples, since the gay marriage movement was like a dagger posed at the heart of ambiguity, nuance, and the compromising spirit.

But the thing is, I've always only opposed gay marriage when it meant endangering children's rights to a mother and father. I think same-sex couples deserve recognition and dignity. I think if done right civil unions could have been a testing ground for gays to brainstorm new forms of relationship recognition that matched the gay community instead of aping straight people. So forgive me -- this is my stance and it won't change.

4. I am never going to consider myself ex-gay

There's something perverse about society's inability to understand the basics of bisexuality. A bisexual--such as myself--is capable of coupling with either men or women. It doesn't mean you sleep with both sexes simultaneously or have polyamorous domestic situations. I am faithful to my wife. But I have been with men and do not feel like running around claiming I was always straight, which wouldn't be true, or claiming I have been "cured," which I haven't.

I think people make choices in life and what you do with your body is one of those choices. People should decide to do things that make them happy. I am not ex-gay.

Okay, conservatives, as long as we can get over these four little humps, I can offer a lifetime of energized activism to you, since I agree with you on everything that matters.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

My interview in New York

This just got posted from this week:

http://ec.libsyn.com/p/a/e/9/ae91e73a9f5fd25d/2015-3-16_Robert_Lopez.mp3?d13a76d516d9dec20c3d276ce028ed5089ab1ce3dae902ea1d06ca813fd3ca595d4e&c_id=8596698

Enjoy!

How to spot a false gay marriage argument

Heather Barwick's open letter to the gay community in Federalist has become a bombshell. It's going all over the place (see earlier posts).

Yahoo Parenting! picked up the story, and look at how the Family Equality Council responded:

“There’s nothing wrong with her sharing her experience — it’s an important conversation, and one that we have, and should have, all the time,” Gabriel Blau, executive director of the Family Equality Council, tells Yahoo Parenting. “But denying a huge swath of American citizens our civil rights is not an answer.” [...] Blau, who is raising a 7-year-old son with his husband, adds, “I think it’s disingenuous to say you don’t support LGBT rights and that your concern is children. Supporting marriage equality does not create our families — it creates support for families that already exist.” He adds that Barwick’s pain over the absence of a father “who chose not to be in the picture” and her conclusion to not support gay marriage represent two distinct issues, and that her connection of the two is “such a non-sequitur.” 

Gabriel Blau is blowing smoke. Let me break this down:

1. He says this is an important conversation, that we should have, yet why has his organization never come to the defense of those of us who tried to have the conversation? Look at the YouTube video in the left-hand column of this blog. Look at the speech I gave in January 2014, in Utah, at a moment when Blau's allies in the gay movement were demolishing my character and inspiring threats and attacks against me? Blau has no credibility because he only even engaged respectfully in the conversation when he absolutely had to -- when Barwick's letter went so viral and scored so many supporters, he couldn't avoid it.

2. This discussion about "our civil rights" is complete hogwash. When Blau refers to his own "civil rights" he is talking about the right to take away the human rights of his 7-year-old son, who is going to be further deprived of ties to his mother as a result of same-sex marriage.

3. Who is Gabriel Blau to talk about "disingenuous" reasoning? His group has been using gay couples' children as robots and props to promote a system that takes them away from their birth parents and takes their birth parents away from them. Is it disingenuous to say that you want the "right" to prevent your child from knowing his mother?

4. Gabriel Blau lies. "Supporting marriage equality" does create what he calls "our families." It is being argued before the Supreme Court as something necessary so that two Michigan women can automatically adopt each other's children and subordinate their children to their joint custodial powers. The families that already exist don't need any changes in the law. Gay couples who raise children are raising them generally in a situation akin to foster care. The change that will occur in gay marriage is a change in what the kid gets--the kid gets threatened with total erasure of his ties to his mother.

5. Oh my God, is Gabriel Blau talking about "non-sequiturs"? Are you serious? You take a kid away from his mother, force him not to have a relationship with his mother, force him into a custodial relationship with someone who isn't his father, and then you say that because of this you need a marriage certificate? How is that for a non-sequitur? Amazing.

This is a great idea!!!! Buy Dolce and Gabbana for your mom on Mother's Day!

Excellent idea:

http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2015/03/counter_boycott_buy_dolce_and_gabbana_fragrance_for_mothers_day.html

Also, think about what to buy from their collection for Father's Day too.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

My piece on art, Elton John, and Dolce & Gabbana

Read this--

http://www.firstthings.com/web-exclusives/2015/03/synthetic-children

It's me pretending I'm artsy. :)

Heather Barwick's amazing letter to the LGBT community

This is such a heartbreaking and touching piece by Heather Barwick, which just got published in Federalist: 

http://thefederalist.com/2015/03/17/dear-gay-community-your-kids-are-hurting/ 

You really have to read the whole thing. She is able to capture a spirit of love and understanding while also asserting the importance of having a mom and dad.

She speaks as a member of the LGBT community, not as an outsider attacking it.

Monday, March 16, 2015

The backlash against Dolce and Gabbana proves them right in more ways than one.

The completely petulant and histrionic response from gay parents like Ryan Murphy to Dolce & Gabbana's comments can give average Americans a small taste of what children in such homes will have to deal with. You can't be a good parent and want to have absolute control over what your kids think and feel, in addition to what the whole world thinks and feels about you and your kids. It's a recipe for emotional abuse of whoever is under your power. Look at the punitive urge, the lust for vengeance, the despotism. That is what I see in Ricky Martin, Jeremy Hooper, Ryan Murphy, and Elton John. These are men who will terrorize human beings if they can, if they are within their striking distance. They acquired children the way they get everything they want in all aspects of their lives: through economic leverage, intimidation, and sheer arrogance. Imagine being a helpless and confused child longing for a mom, and being under the power of a dad who throws out clothing and calls for all-out destruction of anyone who hints that you have lost something by being denied a mom. Imagine not one such man lording over you, but two. This is horrible. These people are disgusting. I hope and pray that Dolce and Gabbana do not capitulate to them. These repulsive tyrants must learn at some point that they are not gods, and they cannot bring the world to their knees.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/ryan-murphy-rips-dolce-gabbana-781937


The English version of the Letter to Dolce & Gabbana We Published in Italy

This letter got published on Tempi today, in Italy.

http://www.tempi.it/lettera-a-dolce-e-gabbana-da-sei-figli-cresciuti-da-coppie-gay-grazie-per-il-vostro-coraggio#.VQcVkCdoXOo

For the benefit of non-Italian-speakers, here is the English version. Enjoy! :)

-->
Dear Dolce and Gabbana,

Greetings from the United States. The six signers of this letter were all raised by gay and lesbian parents. Five of us are women and one is a queer man, though we all raised our children with their opposite-sex parents. We want to thank you for giving voice to something that we learned by experience: Every human being has a mother and a father, and to cut either from a child's life is to rob the child of dignity, humanity, and equality.

We know that gay parents can be loving, since we loved our parents and they loved us. Nonetheless, we have all had firsthand experience with the harsh backlash that follows when the dominant view of "gay parenting" as universally positive is questioned. We know that you will come under tremendous pressure, especially now when both Italy and the United States are being pushed to override our concerns for our rights to a mom and dad, in order to please a powerful gay lobby.

Nobody receives more vicious attacks from the lobby than those who come from the gay community and question its policies: children of gay couples just as much as the gay men who defend them (like the two of you).

In all likelihood many in the international community will try to get your shows cancelled, your advertisements censored, and your reputation destroyed online. You have shown yourselves to be extremely brave. You have given us great inspiration as all six of us prepare to submit letters to the US Supreme Court against gay marriage.

We want to praise your courage and thank you for your inspiration. We also implore you not to surrender when the backlash grows in intensity. If you back down from what you said and apologize, it will leave the children of gay homes even more vulnerable and discredited. It is important for our sake, for the sake of Italian children as well, that you not apologize or capitulate. Please support the idea that all children need to be bonded with their mothers and fathers. It is a human right.

If we can help you in any way, please, let us know. We are not all Christian but we want to send you our blessings, and we promise that we will be lifelong buyers of Dolce and Gabbana from now on.


Heather Barwick, contributor to Federalist


Katy Faust, writer at asktheBigot


Denise Shick, author of My Daddy’s Secret

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Completely awesome post by Katy Faust on IVF

Okay, if you haven't heard yet, before I get to Katy Faust's amazing latest post on children conceived through genetic "donors," I should alert readers that Jephthah's Daughters: Innocent Casualties in the War for Family 'Equality' is now available on Amazon Kindle for the cute affordable price of $5. Check it out. You can also get the preferable format of a beautiful book for just $16 also on Amazon.

Anyways, you must read Faust's latest roast:

http://askthebigot.com/2015/03/15/thoughts-of-donor-conceived-children-of-gay-parents-in-their-own-words/

She took the time to compile a range of voices from COGs (children of gays) who were conceived through sperm or egg donation. Read it! It's time for all of us to be heard.

And this is also to remind Dolce & Gabbana -- WE LOVE YOU -- and you can't let COGs down by going back on your statements now. Stand strong!

Dolce & Gabbana, please don't surrender

If somehow you can read this, Dolce & Gabbana, please hear us.

We, the dissenting children of same-sex couples, need you not to backtrack on what you said about the problems with depriving children of a mother and father.

There are many of us who came out of gay homes who know firsthand the deep sense of grieving and loss that hangs over us, all the way into middle age and beyond, because we were denied the most basic of human dignities: the love of the man and woman who gave us life.

As this Guardian article reflects, you have come under withering attacks and it will only get worse:

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/mar/15/elton-john-leading-lgbt-groups-dolce-gabbana-boycott

You must understand why your words infuriate people so much. Those gay couples who have forced children into their care know, deep down, that they have done something cruel.

They know, because they have to face the questioning and sometimes hostile stares of children who have to obey them and pretend they are their parents. The children become rebellious teenagers, then independent adults -- and they become, eventually, mature enough to say out loud what simmers unspoken in their minds for most of their lives:

These two gay people used me. It wasn't fair. I am hurt. I am angry. Nobody will listen to me.

You will hear the usual platitudes that all it takes is love (which isn't true), or that social science has proved that gay parents do just as well as others (which isn't true).

But you know, deep down, the truth that compelled you to risk your fashion business and say what you said: To uproot a child from his biological roots, turn him into a product, and sell him to a gay couple so that the LGBT movement can get emotional satisfaction and political prestige, is WRONG. It creates a class of children severed from the life cycles that shape all of us, a group of children forced to exist outside of history, indeed out of reality.

Please don't surrender. If you go back on what you said, you will be leaving all of us who grew up in gay homes and have come to see the light, on our own to face the cruelty of the world again.

God bless you.

Robert Oscar Lopez 

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Have gay marriage supporters checked their privilege lately?

Over 300 corporations have said we have to support gay marriage. The Koch brothers are won over to the cause. State attorneys general are willing to use the full power of the intelligence apparatus, police, and ties to yellow journalism to put you out of business if you oppose gay marriage. And now there is a special global LGBT envoy so if you are banished from the US for opposing gay marriage, there is nowhere to go.

Oh, and the gay movement just hijacked Selma too. Because gay men wanting to buy babies on the black market from sex slaves kidnapped by Boko Haram is just like black people in the 1960s wanting to be able to vote. Right.

Check your privilege.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Now that the Koch Brothers and other right-wing bogeymen are all pro-gay-marriage, can the ligbitists please stop pretending they're fighting for the oppressed?

Read this:

http://freebeacon.com/issues/david-koch-backs-gay-marriage-at-supreme-court/

How often have we heard about those rascally Koch brothers from our friends on the anti-globalization left?

Well, now gay marriage is being championed by one of the Koches AND they have a rich and powerful "global LGBT envoy."

Who's the Man now?

Nothing screams corporate sellout like supporting gay marriage and turning kids into corporate-owned commodities.

Face it, gay marriage enthusiasts -- you're working for the 1%.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Buy Jephthah's Daughters: Innocent Casualties of the War for Family "Equality"

JEPHTHAH’S DAUGHTERS
Innocent Casualties of the War for Family “Equality”

Book available now!

Edited and compiled by two adults who were raised by lesbians – a radical Jewish feminist and a queer Latino scholar -- this text is the most comprehensive examination of all the social interests sacrificed in the cause of family “equality,” by which we mean the larger set of demands posed in conjunction with the same-sex marriage movement.


It’s not just about love. It was never just about that. It’s about all the groups – children, women, minorities, the developing world, gays, and intellectuals—who will have to be treated as collateral damage in order for the demands of a small elite for family “equality” to be met. This is not speculation or a matter of “beliefs”—this book provides extensive documentation of all the impacts around the whole world, which have already been felt by the so-called marriage equality movement.

At just $19.99, this book is a serious bargain. Weighing in at 484 pages, with 57 essays by sixteen different writers and over 550 endnotes, this text covers an enormous amount of ground, addressing children’s rights, feminism, queer theory, critical race theory, social-justice movements, international relations, immigration, academic integrity, the rights of artists and performers, and much much more.


The bulk of this book consists of testimonials that have never been heard before and arguments that have been noticeably ignored in the debate on same-sex marriage.

Whether you are for or against gay marriage, this text is essential reading. If you oppose gay marriage, you need to master these arguments and galvanize allies so that the full spectrum of documented consequences can be presented to the public before same-sex marriage becomes a global fait accompli.

If you support gay marriage, then it is imperative that you confront and consider all the groups who will have to suffer irreparable harm for your policy goals to be met. You may decide it's worth it, and that's what citizens in a free society are allowed to do: weigh different costs and benefits and arrive at their own judgment. You just need to do it with your eyes open to everything that goes into your judgment. History will lay responsibility at your feet.


Friday, February 20, 2015

The Book Is Here (Just About!)!!!

Dear Readers,

Our book, Jephthah's Daughters: Innocent Casualties in the War for Family 'Equality,' is just about ready to go live on Amazon and the CreateSpace bookstores. We have everything all set in place but are just waiting for the last customary publishers' review, and then it will be up there. At the latest it will be live on the evening of Sunday, February 22.

Here are some details to keep you curious:

It's a very thorough book. Though the price is a steal at $19.99, it contains an enormous amount of information, ranging from academic scholarship to testimonials unveiled for the first time. There are 57 chapters total: A preface, five introductions by guest writers (you'll flip when you find out who they are!), a conclusion, and fifty chapters written by our team of fifteen contributors.

The cover artwork is gorgeous. I won't reveal what's on there until you see it, but it is beautiful art. A classic by an artist you've all heard of.

It is organized systematically into sections. The book is not structured as a polemic against gay marriage. Instead it provides focused consideration of six different groups who have had to be "sacrificed" so that the family 'equality' movement could move forward. These groups are: children, women, society, globe, gay men, and "bards." I use the general term "bards" for all the people who make a business out of expression: musicians, scholars, thinkers, commentators, writers, etc.

Many of the royalties have been earmarked for charities. Many of the contributors have foregone their claim to any royalties, asking for the same to be channeled toward charities for education or pediatric AIDS research. We are looking for other charities that match the particular loyalties of each contributor.

The contributors represent a wide range. We assembled massive diversity in terms of ethnicity, sexual orientation, national origin, and personal life story. The book presents work by children of same-sex couples, adoptees, children of divorce, feminist activists, leftists, conservatives, gay men, from all over the world, representing every race and continent.

It's urgent that you read it now so you know what is at stake in the upcoming Supreme Court case. Whether you are an everyday citizen or a political activist, you have to know what the upcoming Supreme Court decision on marriage equality means. Whether you oppose or support gay marriage, you cannot go into the post-family-equality era without understanding how the Supreme Court's ruling on gay marriage will impact birth certificates, custody, education, adoption, foster care, human trafficking, organ trafficking, biomedical ethics, research, freedom of the press, religion, child safety, sexual health, reproductive health, medical care, political campaigning, activism, online security, economic inequality, racial strife, international relations, taxes, law, culture, psychiatry, epidemiology, publishing, broadcasting, immigration, record-keeping, civil rights ... It affects everything. And what is brought to light in this book, I guarantee you, you have not heard before, or you haven't heard it explained to you in good faith.

To start you off for a few days until the book goes live, I leave you this piece which just ran in Amerian Thinker:

http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2015/02/children_of_samesex_couples_a_turning_point.html

Saturday, February 14, 2015

This is what archival work looks like---- kind of

Just published this little piece in Daily Caller:

http://dailycaller.com/2015/02/13/kids-of-gay-couples-find-their-voice-will-scotus-listen/

Daily Caller is a new stomping ground for me; this is my first publication there. Trying to  share my work with as many audiences as possible.

In this article, I connect the dots for people between the different authors emerging who were children of same-sex couples, like me, and now trying to speak to the complexity of our experience. It is very hard to be independent when you are stuck between conservatives who want one story from you ("gay parenting is bad because gay people are bad and let's find as many ways as possible to get back to talking about how gross sodomy is")  and people like Jeremy Hooper, who think because they are gay and raise kids that you owe them lifelong affirmation for their selfish choices, even if it means you must be silent or lie about all the problems with "gay parenting."

Unfortunately sometimes it takes court cases to occasion the emergence of new voices that have been suppressed up until now. So the Washington Times piece about the four of us who submitted to the 5th Circuit opened up new avenues for us to tell our stories. Over time, I hope our identity as people who were on one side of the marriage debate can recede and we can write our narratives outside of what this means for public policy.

I know we are the beginnings -- the embryonic stage -- of a new literary genre, the same-sex parenting memoir. If I seem a little dismissive about the plentiful testimonials from people who said "I love my two moms" at Pride parades and the like, forgive me, but I am just cutting to the chase. A tell-tale sign that a COG (child of a gay) is telling the parents' story, not his or her own, is when the narrative drifts neatly to the conclusion that the parents' choice to take away a mom or dad and force the kid to grow up in a gay home is totally fine The well-coached, obedient gay parenting slave is programmed to say that it's all the people who anger the parents from outside the home that are the problem. A COG is not a fully developed human being with a developed voice until he/she can gain some distance from the gay guardians and look critically at all of what shaped their childhood, including gay culture. No fully thinking and independent COG can fail to notice how twisted the gay community's relationship is to gay couples' children. The gay community kind of owns you and uses you, then tells you to shut up and hunts you down if you stray off-script. Any COG who shows no signs of having realized this is being paid off, intimidated, or really naive.

This will make for very interesting literary history. Not a huge consolation for how much viciousness we have to endure from the gay lobby and vindictive, defensive gay parents out in the blogosphere. But it's some consolation, even if insufficient. We should never forget, too, that when you see gay parents like Jeremy Hooper vilely attacking adult COGs for criticizing gay parenting, this is a very reliable indicator of the kind of mental abuse they are probably heaping on the children in their care: the snooping around, the shaming, the undermining, the ritual embarrassment, the passive-aggressive guilt trips. Read what Jeremy Hooper has said about me, a child of the gay community. Now picture what it would be like to have Jeremy Hooper in charge of your life, with access to your computer, your diary, your friends, and your school records. It's a scary thought. Here's what scarier: Jeremy Hooper speaks for gay parents in general because he is a solid representative of what gay parents in general are like. So it's not just one man with a blog and a disturbing personality disorder -- it's an abusive movement.

Through all of this, though, I find my bearing by reorienting myself back to my discipline and my scholarly training. I'm a lit crit guy. Currently there's a lot of debate raging about Donald Paul Sullins' articles on gay parenting. I warned people on our side not to go down a rabbit hole with the three studies by Sullins. They are useful research and they carry much more weight than the jerry-rigged, unprofessional social-science that's been used to push gay parenting. BUT -- and this is a very big "but" -- we can't be fighting gay marriage based on a report-card system about who raises kids with fewer problems. On a certain level, even if it's true that kids of gay couples are twice as likely to have ADHD (I can believe it), that's not a reason to oppose gay marriage. If all the kids of gay couples went to Yale like me, you should oppose gay marriage because all those Yalies had rights to their mother and father. How rich they are or how many psychological problems they have should not be the issue.

In the past, the conservative movement has not been receptive enough to our views on the marriage debate, so I won't be surprised if they hang everything on the Sullins research, snub the COGs again, and lose once more. I've done my part writing to them about social science and pleading with them to stay interdisciplinary and humanitarian -- look at human rights and human dignity, not scorecards. Let us tell our stories, don't turn us into statistics. COGs do not exist to be weighed and measured and found wanting. We are people.

Monday, February 9, 2015

RIP, Dreams of Gay Parenting Bliss

This article speaks for itself:

http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/the_no_difference_theory_is_dead

The first study conducted on a representative sample without significant selection bias has concluded that gay parenting causes twice the levels of mental health difficulties in children.

Heather has two mommies, four psychiatrists, and a law guardian.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Children of Same-Sex Couples are Finding their Voice -- And Making More Progress Each Day

Well Katy Faust's debut article in Public Discourse, which was an open letter to Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, is now at 181,000 shares and will likely clear 200,000. I may be wrong but this will stand as the most popular essay ever published by Public Discourse. 

Wow, what a way to get in the game! I am incredibly proud of Ms. Faust. The day after her article came out, Rivka Edelman's mercilessly honest appraisal of the pro-gay side in DeBoer v. Snyder came out in Federalist. 

http://thefederalist.com/2015/02/03/lbgt-demands-for-other-peoples-children-are-misogynistic/

These are exciting times. Quite a bit has changed since the beginning of 2015, and much of it good for those of us who were raised by gay parents. We are finding more spaces to express the range of our experiences. And we are maintaining our independence from the agendas of other organizations, which is very important.

The left sacrificed us long ago to keep the gay lobby happy. The right had a dysfunctional relationship with us for years, wanting to use us for campaigns from time to time, then typically tossing us overboard when they found it much more pleasant and profitable to talk about Christian businesses and religious freedom. Kids who grew up in strange and stressful homes tend to have strange and stressful stories to tell--people both for and against gay marriage have a habit of seeing us as a drag.

The solution for us was simply to rally support for each other and be independent of the right/left divide. That's where we are at now. And it feels great. I can't wait for Jephthah's Daughters to come out next week. I think you'll love the cover!

As you might expect, the usual scorpions have crawled out of their little burrowing places under slimy rocks. Jeremy Hooper is at it again. Oh look, another cameo from Scott Rose, Gay man with fake avatar paid by friends of Hooper I mean  "Straight Grandmother" is back with more of his her "gotchya" volleys (this time I think she's discovered that one of us is really Mark Regnerus's alien mother-in-law from the planet Zyptron, come to steal water from Straight Grandmother's backyard in Palmdale, California.)

This is what Snarky Gay Bloggers do, on cue, over and over again. Whenever children of same-sex couples speak for themselves and refuse to follow the script forced on them by Gay Inc., Jeremy Hooper, Zack Ford, and the rest of their hyperventilating gang show up with accusations, insults, and distractions, engaging in the typical emotional terrorism and Mean Girls subterfuge that you can bet they will apply to children they raise in their homes. If they treat adults raised by gay parents this way, how do you think they will treat children raised by them? Let's pray for them and especially the beautiful human beings who are forced to live in their homes and deal with such nastiness every day. (Mean bloggers do not become nice when they turn off the computer and deal with their kids.)

The best course of action is always to carry on with dignity and grace. Haters gonna hate. I want to congratulate Katy Faust and Rivka Edelman and say the year's gotten off to a great start. Here's to even more great work ahead!

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Update--Get Ready for the Sextet of Truth!

The book Jephthah's Daughters: Innocent Casualties of the War for Family 'Equality' is going to be out and available in the next ten days. Keep an eye out for it!

In the meantime, some of you may have come across articles about the "Quartet of Truth," which is the name the Washington Times gave to Team Marriage: Me, Rivka Edelman, Katy Faust, and Dawn Stefanowicz. See here:

http://cnsnews.com/news/article/lauretta-brown/adults-raised-gay-couples-speak-out-against-gay-marriage-federal-court

Well, there are two more adult children of same-sex couples who will be joining us for the next round of advocacy for children's rights. So we will soon be a sextet!

An update is coming soon, I promise, with the link to Amazon's page for our book.

Meanwhile, Katy Faust has debuted in Public Discourse with this excellent letter to Justice Anthony Kennedy:

http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2015/02/14370/

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Sunday, January 4, 2015

New Year in Progress...

We are off to a strong start for the New Year. Progress is coming along nicely on our book Jephthah's Daughters, which will be out very soon. There are some surprise contributors who are pretty exciting, and quite a bit of new material is going to be included. So definitely keep an eye out for it!

We have finished locating the many videos that provide representative samples of the work that English Manif was doing. Until we have the book out, feel free to browse the videos along the left-hand column of this page. There are some ideas and a lot of information there.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Thanks for coming to English Manif. We have some somber news to share. We will have to change, but it's probably all for the best.

Dear readers,

When Papa Maman and I launched English Manif in January 2013, we had no idea of the reach our work would attain. I do not want to reveal our visitor stats--lately I've come to be guarded about any information regarding this blog -- but they are shockingly high given how young the blog is.

With unforeseen success has come, unfortunately, a lot of challenges for which I was not prepared. Due to some of these challenges, and in the interest of protecting contributors and correspondents, we have had to take down and archive the 2,000 posts that were published here; we have warehoused them somewhere safe but cannot leave them as open-source resources to the reading public anymore.

We will be publishing the most important essays from English Manif as books. Our goal going forward is to ensure that the work we do here is disseminated with proper contextualization and having gone through as careful an editing process as possible.

In a nutshell, English Manif is all grown up now. We have to take our work to the next level, which means collecting essays and publishing them as proper books.

Jephthah's Daughters will be the first book to come out, presenting the fifty most important and representative essays from English Manif. Please check back by the end of January, when we hope to have the full volume edited and ready for sale. The prices will be modest, enough to cover the production cost and extra labor tied to preparing work for adequate publication.

I have received a flood of emails from readers who are frustrated and disappointed that we can no longer leave English Manif as a free and open resource. We -- and by "we," I mean the vast team of people who were behind English Manif -- will be striving to make the resources available for as little cost as possible, but with assurances that the content will be protected.

Please enjoy the holiday season, and accept our deepest blessings.

ROBERT OSCAR LOPEZ